We do a lot of things here at Mavs Moneyball. Need to know the intricacies of the salary cap and how they relate to our options in this crucial off-season? We do this.
Any updates on the latest Mavericks news? We do too.
Player-by-player opinions on the season? In-depth analysis? Cover project? Relevant movie reviews?
But we also do stupid things sometimes and that’s where I come in.
In an end-of-season interview, Spencer Dinwiddie said this:
Here’s that full quote from Spencer Dinwiddie, who is as wild and true to Mavs humor this season as you’d expect:
“I think we’re the best team in the league, bruh.”
Theo Pinson (with THJ, DFS and Bullcok) in the background: “Take it off the mic!” pic.twitter.com/hrWJVFNSCn
— Callie Caplan (@CallieCaplan) May 27, 2022
So who are the best Mavericks players? Admittedly, it’s a bit of a favorite subject for me. I once spent a few hours ranking the best current quarterbacks in the NFL with a colleague I was supposed to coach. The answer was, and still is, Jimmy Garroppolo. Jimmy G. is so handsome it’s funny. He looks like an actor playing a quarterback. I have a theory that he’s like the character Jon Hamm in 30 Rock, who’s a doctor despite being dangerously stupid, because he’s so handsome he lives in a bubble.
Anyway, 15 Mavs Moneyball contributors voted for their top 5. I compiled the results, with a 1st place vote is worth 5 points, a 2n/a place worth 4 points, etc.
4. (tie) – Luka Doncic – 20 points
Of course, Luka is the apple of our eye, so there was little chance that he wouldn’t end up in the top 5. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve it, even if he badly needs of a better and more consistent barber. He has a nice boyish look and will probably be someone who gets even more handsome as he gets older, like no one ever said about me.
4. (tie) – Dwight Powell – 20 points
Dwight might be the best dressed player on the team, and I think that really helps his case. No one on the list looks better in a suit than our favorite Canadian, who tends to really nail his pre-game look, aside from the sockless thing. I know it’s elegant, but I don’t like it.
3. – Franck Ntilikina – 23 points
No offense to Frank, but this one caught me off guard. I may not have seen him enough on the pitch to realize how handsome he is. Maybe I didn’t notice her natural French sensuality. Anyway, it wasn’t in my top 5, but many of our contributors are huge fans, with one even giving it a top spot. Oh dear!
2. Tim Hardaway Jr. – 47 points
My pick for number 1. Our very own Josh Bowe once called THJ a “dreamer” and he was right. There was a lot of talk about the bench during the playoffs with Theo and THJ leading the way. The role of Theo was endless talk, camouflage and just pure enthusiasm. Tim’s job was to distract the other team with his face. Can’t tell me there haven’t been a few times an opposing player has caught themselves staring at him in the eye or at his perfectly manicured beard instead of concentrating resulting in a snap three or a turnover.
1. Maxi Kleber – 67 points
Again, I voted for Tim Hardaway Jr. for first place, but that’s hard to argue with. Maxi is a really handsome guy. Especially when he hits his three. A lot of people would like to call him. Including our voters, 10 of whom ranked it number one.
Honorable Mention – Spencer Dinwiddie – 17 points
It’s a bit outrageous. Spence is a handsome man, and not just because we traded Kristaps Porzingis for him. There is something timeless about her look. He could have easily played someone in HBO’s The Deuce, set in 1970s New York, or HBO’s Winning Time, set in 1980s Los Angeles. He should have been in the top 5. Someone at HBO needs to contact him ASAP.
My newsletter was:
- Tim Hardaway Jr.
- Maxi Kleber
- Spencer Dinwiddie
- Trey Burk
- Luka Doncic
As I write this, I realize that it is silly to have voted for anyone rather than Maxi. Look at the. But what is done is done. Speaking of which, this season is over, and despite the success, the roster will hopefully look a little different next year. Don’t bet on it being prettier.